?????????暗???自???想???着???，???我???不???禁???攒???紧???手???指???，???然???後???感???受???到???有???一???gu???力???道???回???握???，???我???抿???了???抿???唇???，???深???x1???一???口???气???抬???起???头???，???已???恢???复???成???浑???然???不???识???的???模???样???。

    ?????????士???兵???往???两???边???散???开???，???开???出???一???条???路???让???我???们???前???进???。???我???们???不???敢???突???然???加???快???速???度???，???就???这???样???慢???慢???前???行???，???而???我???的???心???情???随???着???步???伐???越???多???，???不???显???轻???松???，???反???倒???愈???加???沉???重???。

    ?????????我???内???心???非???常???想???知???道???他?????了???什???麽──???在???他???眼???中???，???是???不???是???有???从???我???身???上???找???到???娘???的???身???影???？???他???的???遗???憾???是???否???少???了???一???点???？

    ?????????视???线???一???直???定???格???在???脚???边???，???我???失???神???了???很???久???很???久???，???想???着???一???些???自???己???永???远???也???不???会???知???道???答???案???的???问???题???，???但???每???想???一???遍???就???是???在???自???伤???，???却???又???不???得???不???想???。

    ?????????兄???长???曾?????这???世???界???上???有???很???多???「???如???果???之???事???」???，???人???们???时???常???想???着???如???果???今???日???这???样???做???了???，???是???否???命???运???就???会???截???然???不???同???？???他?????世???上???很???多???人???困???在???「???如???果???」???之???中???，???而???忘???了???眼???前???更???重???要???的???事???情???。???但???是???兄???长???，???我???今???天???忽???然???发???现???为???什???麽???大???家???会???忍???不???住???去???怀???揣???那???个???「???如???果???」???，???哪???怕???欺???骗???自???己???也???持???续???去???想???，???那???确???实???会???让???自???己???好???过???点???，???可???是???在???好???过???之???後???，???难???过???更???胜???一???分???。

    ?????????即???使???如???此???，???人???们???仍???像???中???了???毒???瘾???般???不???能???戒???除???，???周???而???复???始???地???想???着???。

    ?????????兄???长???，???我???不???像???你???这???般???坚???强???，???「???如???果???」???是???你──???肯???定???不???用???烦???恼???什???麽???，???便???能???找???到???最???好???的???解???决???办???法???吧???？

    ?????????对???，???如???果???是???你???。

    ?????????可???偏???偏???现???实???是???，???你???不???在???这???里???了???。

    ?????????我???真???的???很???想???你???。???而???我???有???多???想???你???，???就???有???多???希???望???在???苍???野???坡???的???那???一???天???只???是???一???场???梦???，???一???场???某???天???可???能???会???醒???来???的???惊???天???一???梦???。

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    ?????????将???士???转???达???的???话???，???以???列???哥???当???然???不???会???告???诉???我???，???是???萧???允???禾???玩???笑???似???的???跟???我?????了???几???句???，???我???si???缠???着???他???之???下???，???他???才???告???诉???我???这???些???事???情???。

    ?????????身???为???一???个???主???帅???，???丢???下???自???己???的???职???责???，???只???为???了???去???营???救???一???个???生???si???未???卜???的???将???军──???就???算???兄???长???再???怎???麽???战???功???彪???炳???，???这???也???是???有???勇???无???谋???的???鲁???莽???行???为???，???不???论???今???日???是???谁???从???宸???二???叔???的???角???度???来???看???，???这???火???确???实???发???得???不???无???道???理???。

    ?????????我???心???中???忐???忑???，???毕???竟???一???切???因???我???而???起???，???若???真???要???罚???，???我???又???怎???能???置???身???事???外???…???…

    ?????????赶???了???数???日???路???程???，???好???不???容???易???回???到???皇???来???城???。???这???几???日???，???魏???邯???使???臣???si???在???陈???楚???境???内???的???噩???耗???不???胫???而???走???，???两???国???交???恶???，???同???时???派???出???使???臣???的???大???燕???自???然???不???能???置???身???事???外???，???三???方???情???势???紧???张???，???加???上???陈???楚???皇???帝???疑???似???驾???崩???的???消???息???愈???发???愈???烈???，???朝???野???混???乱???，???虽???是???在???殷???觉???境???地???，???大???家???仍???不???免???大???肆???议???论???。

    ?????????接???下???来???各???国???走???向???如???何???，???谁???也?????不???准???。

    ?????????而???这???些???消???息???让???我???想???起???百???里???玄???烨???…???…???好???歹???是???他???的???父???亲???，???我???不???知???道???他???是???当???真???不???在???意???，???还???是???假???装???不???在???意???。

    ?????????人???非???草???木???，???熟???能???无???情???？???大???多???是???欺???骗???自???己???无???情???罢???了???。

    ?????????车???队???停???在???殷???觉???府???邸???之???外???，???我???们???一???下???马???车???，???就???见???到???练???惟???惟???牵???着???两???个???孩???子???站???在???门???口???，???神???se???盼???望???，???望???着???他???们???，???我???心???中???一???涩???。

    ?????????宸???二???叔???就???站???在???正???门???外???，???一???双???犹???带???愠???火???的???目???光???瞬???也???不???瞬???瞪???着???以???列???哥???，???然???後???又???望???了???我???一???眼???。

    ?????????我???正???想???走???上???前???，???他???率???先???挡???住???我???，???「???二???叔???，???是???我???莽???撞???，???跟???清???全???然???无???关???。???」

    ?????????他?????了???什???麽???，???这???回???我???相???当???清???楚???，???因???为???我???事???先???拜???托???萧???允???禾???必???定???一???字???不???漏???转???述???给???我???听???。

    ?????????「???以???列──???军???有???军???法???、???家???有???家???规???！???不???论???是???为???了???何???人???何???事???，???你???难???辞???其???咎???！???」

    ?????????以???列???哥???垂???下???头???，???完???全???不???替???自???己???辩???驳???，???只???替???我???分???辩???：???「???二???叔???，???我???明???白???。???但???清???身???上???余???毒???未???解???，???请???你???千???万???勿???苛???责???於???他???。???」

    ?????????「???你──???给???我???跪???在???祠???堂???外???面???，???好???好???向???你???父???母???的???牌???位???忏???悔???！???在???我???未???许???可???之???前???不???准???起???来???！???」

    ?????????听???着???萧???允???禾???告???诉???我???的???话???，???我???虽???心???急???，???却???无???法???帮???以???列???哥???解???释???或???是???承???担???，???最???後???眼???睁???睁???看???着???他???离???去???，???直???到???身???影???消???失???。

    ?????????接???着???以???列???哥???在???供???奉???殷???觉???列???祖???列???宗???的???祠???堂???外???足???足???跪???了???五???个???时???辰???，???我???本???来???想???陪???他???一???起???跪???，???可???是???萧???允???禾???拉???着???我???，???不???让???我???去???，???他?????以???列???哥???叮???嘱???他???我???身???t???还???没???恢???复???，???绝???对???不???可???以???让???我???跟???着???受???罪???。

    ?????????而???且???萧???允???禾???怕???挡???不???住???我???，???还???特???意???叫???练???惟???惟???把???两???个???小???孩???子???带???过???来???，???要???我???无???法???ch0u???身???，???乖???乖???待???在???偏???厅???，???然???後???自???己???不???知???道???跑???去???哪???逍???遥???了???。

    ?????????虽???然???我???听???不???见???他???们???在???闹???些???什???麽???，???但???看???着???看???着──???心???情???竟???平???复???许???多???。???小???孩???子???的???心???思???单???纯???，???他???们???的???亲???ai???父???亲???正???在???受???罚???，???他???们???也???在???屋???内???跟???着???一???起???跪???，???但???跪???在???软???被???子???上???，???p???gu???还???不???安???分???地???动???来???扭???去???。???细???看???之???下???，???我???越???来???越???觉???得???他???们???眉???眼???之???间???有???点???兄???长???的???影???子???。

    ?????????但???念???头???一???转──???兄???长???跟???以???列???哥???既???是???同???父???异???母???的???兄???弟???，???他???们???之???间???有???血???缘???关???系???，???有???些???相???似???也???不???令???人???意???外???。

    ?????????练???惟???惟???坐???在???我???身???旁???，???一???双???眼???眸???流???露???担???忧???，???神???se???yu???言???又???止???，???我???猜???她???恐???怕???有???许???多???事???情???想???问???我???，???却???不???知???如???何???开???口???，???但???就???算???问???了???，???我???也???无???法???作???答???。

    ?????????想???到???这???层???关???系???，???我???暗???自???揣???测???她???是???否???知???情???兄???长???和???我???的???真???实???身???分???？

    ?????????上???次???我???跟???以???列???哥???一???同???回???府???，???她???对???着???我???的???神???情???姿???态???那???般???陌???生???又???带???着???熟???悉???，???好???像???想???从???我???身???上???找???寻???什???麽???，???我???浑???然???不???解???她???的???举???动???代???表???何???意???。

    ?????????沉???思???之???际???，???她???忽???然???站???起???身???朝???外???头???走???去???，???留???下???两???个???孩???子???跟???我???同???处???房???内???，???他???们???见???着???亲???娘???离???开???，???r0u???了???r0u???发???麻???的???双???脚???，???然???後???一???拐???一???拐???凑???到???我???身???边???。

    ?????????我???看???着???他???们???的???小???嘴???叽???叽???喳???喳???，???回???以???一???个???无???奈???微???笑???。

    ?????????他???们???见???我???没???回???应???，???想???是???一???张???嘴???也?????累???了???，???一???人???一???边???伏???在???我???的???腿???上???，???我???顺???着???他???们???的???发???丝???轻???抚???背???脊???，???神???se???安???详???。

    ?????????不???知???道???过???了???多???久???，???眼???角???余???光???偶???然???瞥???见???门???边???出???现???一???个???人???影──???练???惟???惟???捧???着???一???个???瓷???碗???，???静???静???地???望???着???我???。???那???双???透???澈???眼???睛???染???上???些???许???氤???氲???，???她???轻???轻???拭???去???眼???角???sh???润???，???缓???缓???走???近???，???清???丽???面???容???带???着???浅???笑???把???碗???递???给???我???。

    ?????????即???使???闻???不???到???味???道???，???见???着???碗???中???食???料???，???我???也???知???道???这???是???一???碗???四???神???汤???。

    ?????????我???伸???手???接???下???之???後???，???她???把???双???手???包???覆???於???我???的???掌???背???，???她???方???才???端???着???这???碗???热???汤???，???所???以???手???心???的???温???度???烫???得???吓???人???，???我???不???敢???ch0u???回???手???，???就???任???她???这???样???握???着???。

    ?????????四???目???相???接???了???好???一???会???，???她???似???是???叹???了???一???声???，???松???了???手???，???牵???起???两???个???孩???子???离???开???，???让???我???独???自???留???在???屋???内???好???好???休???息???。

    ?????????而???那???碗???汤???被???我???搁???置???在???桌???上???，???直???到???凉???去──???我???都???没???有???喝???上???一???口???。

    ?????????缓???步???走???到???窗???边???，???有???gu???微???微???凉???意???从???窗???口???吹???入???，???我???下???意???识???推???开???窗???户???，???赫???然???发???现???外???头???正???在???下???雨???。???一???滴???一???滴???沿???着???屋???檐???急???速???滚???落???坠???地???。???地???上???因???雨???珠???打???开???的???涟???漪???不???绝???，???这???显???然???是???一???场???暴???雨???。

    ?????????这???雨???下???了???多???久???？???以???列???哥???还???在???跪???着???吗???？

    ?????????担???心???之???余???，???我???不???禁???抛???下???嘱???咐???，???走???出???房???外???，???朝???着???祠???堂???的???方???向???过???去???。

    ?????????果???不???其???然???，???祠???堂???外???仍???跪???着???一???个???人???，???暴???雨???打???在???他???身???上???，???却???丝???毫???没???有???让???他???坚???挺???的???身???子???出???现???半???点???弯???折???，???那???双???眼???睛???直???视???前???方???，???任???由???雨???滴???冲???击???、???浸???sh???、???坠???地???，???以???各???种???方???式???打???在???他???身???上???。

    ?????????鄂???敏???还???有???那???十???九???名???亲???兵???站???在???有???屋???檐???遮???蔽???的???走???廊???上???，???无???可???奈???何???地???看???着???，???却???是???没???人???敢???上???前???给???以???列???哥???递???个???遮???蔽???之???物???。???想???来???是???宸???二???叔???有???交???代???，???所???以???大???家???不???敢???擅???自???作???主???，???只???能???默???默???守???在???一???旁???。

    ?????????他???们???见???我???出???现???，???立???刻???颔???首???示???意???。???但???我???的???目???光???定???在???以???列???哥???的???背???影???，???未???曾???移???开???。

    ?????????当???我???踏???出???长???廊???的??????。???

    反???之???，???百???里???常???德???逮???住???他???，???或???者???我???们???，???一???切???便???没???有???後???话???可?????。

    ?????????但???又???还???有???另???一???种???情???况──???百???里???常???德???已???经???先???进???了???陈???楚???军???营???，???只???留???下???一???些???人???手???追???捕???我???们???。???若???是???他???夺???下???兵???权???，???不???管???百???里???玄???烨???回???不???回???营???都???是???si???路???一???条???。

    ?????????接???着???，???又???是???我???们???和???他???们???之???间???的???微???妙???关???系???。???百???里???玄???烨???若???顺???利???找???到???人???手???接???应???，???他???会???放???过???我???们???吗???？

    ?????????傻???子???都???知???道???不???会???。

    ?????????现???在???可???是???两???国???交???战???，???不???是???隔???壁???邻???居???吵???架???，???能???在???野???外???逮???到???一???个???主???帅???的???机???会???有???多???小???？???一???个???小???兵???都???能???权???衡???利???弊???。

    ?????????而???这???之???中???最???尴???尬???的???恐???怕???就???是???我???了???。???到???底???该???跟???着???谁???走──???我???心???中???虽???然???十???分???清???楚???，???却???无???法?????全???然???不???在???意???。

    ?????????百???里???玄???烨???毕???竟???是???因???为???我???而???身???陷???险???境???，???我???又???怎???能???…???…

    ?????????在???我???思???考???之???际???，???以???列???哥???率???先???出???声???表???示???：???「???此???番???同???行???实???属???意???外???和???不???得???已???，???但???如???今???我???们???都???有???个???相???同???的???目???的──???就???是???为???了???让???彼???此???保???命???。???天???亮???之???後???，???辨???清???方???位──???朝???着???两???军???交???战???之???处???前???行???，???若???安???全???无???虞???抵???达???中???央???点???，???就???分???道???扬???镳???。???之???後???生???si???，???全???凭???个???人???。???」

    ?????????百???里???玄???烨???嘴???角???g???起???一???抹???令???人???猜???不???透???意???图???的???笑???意???，???「???呵???，???殷???觉???主???帅?????得???不???错──???」???他???把???锐???利???目???光???转???到???我???身???上???，???又?????：???「???那???你???呢???？???」

    ?????????不???等???我???回???应???，???以???列???哥???先???接???话???，???态???度???十???分???强???y???：???「???当???然???是???跟???我???回???去──???他???是???殷???觉???的???将???士???，???我???不???可???能???再???让???他???成???为???人???质???！???这???种???要???胁???的???卑???劣???行???径???，???陈???楚???皇???室???做???的???好???，???我???不???想???学???，???以???後???也???不???会???学???！???」